Once upon a time, long long ago, don’t panic this is no fairy tale :) I meant when I was younger (yeah I am officially old now) I heard this joke, about western family structure. It goes like this:
“WIFE: Honey what’s the bickering noise?
HUSBAND: The Usual babe, your children and my children are fighting with our children”
Then I’d found it real funny. I was proud of the then fact that it’s not like that where I come from,
India- The land of BIG happy families.
That was our story about fifteen years ago.
Now that family system has had a “modern” overhaul I think we are no different from the western countries. Gone are those days where we cherished and valued family relations, extended or not, distant or not we were all a part of one BIG happy family. I mean who’s ever heard of the expression one BIG happy family without BIG in it? I haven’t. Have you?
I was 7 yrs old when I was taught the fact that “Man is a social animal”, without the word social you know how it looks. I am driving to the fact that we need to be living a social complex where we have others to fall back on. It’s wonderful to have a support system, where you can trust in people without a second thought that they are going to screw you over. I feel we have lost our culture, our habit our very way of life to the western society.
Nowadays every parent (single or married) wants their child to get the very best of education in the most expensive, the ultra modern international standard school. They feel that they have done really well for their kids “at least better than my parents” or so they think. Is it true? I wish to object. If this was a court, I would appeal to the Judge for the strictest of fines to be imposed. It’s criminal how the education system in India is. It’s a bloody battle that a child has to face every day. There are fancy subjects, language classes, recreation time with the latest toys in the market. Is there a class on values or on principles? I don’t mean those typical character building classes which they have just to show to the Board of Education that “we are giving a fine moral base for the student to build on.” No. I am sure that all will agree with me when I say “Excuse me, but these are bloody boring and seriously uneducative”. What a New- Age Parent needs to understand is the importance of passing on those family values to their children so that tomorrow they stick together as a family. I mean you don’t need to get divorced to break up in a family, circumstances can draw you apart. Sometimes there is no choice, but mostly there is. I quote “What is not possible is not to choose” Jean-Paul Sartre. Yes, we always do have choice to mend or not to mend our family ties. When there is no choice you will have to leave it to time to mend or wait for some bloody divine intervention.
I blame a part of this modern family culture on our own big fat EGOs. We have lost the “being humble” trait.
“My daughter so good looking (she thinks) and (says) your daughter lost some colour and gained some weight.” says one typical new age mom to her own sister. This is not a normal statement. Its saying “We go to mattresses” in the subtle way of all women.(For, those of the unfortunate readers who not read GODFATHER or seen the flicks it mean ALL OUT WAR, and please go read THE GODFATHER series). This war breaks up the BIG happy family. All the negativity that is present in this entire universe is bestowed upon the two families and they grow apart day by day year by year till they refuse to acknowledge the very existence of each other. There are better solutions to this cold war. People should come together and sit across the table and talk (scream at each other but talk). Talk till you have nothing to say to your family. We need to remember that at the end of the day it is OUR family, we are speaking with.
My dad and uncles, my mum and aunts all speak with the “Woh din hawa huae” expression as though it’s an irreversible loss. They speak about the days of BIG happy families, the all over India world famous family reunions, the close ties between second and third cousins, the time when everyone knew the ”door ke rishtedar” and would speak about them with genuine affection.
Now I wonder where these days have gone.
Today, I mean a few months back I was in pune, working when I had a faint feeling creeping over me that today was a date I was not supposed to forget. When I have such a feeling I usually pick up the phone call my gurl and ask her did I forget something I was not supposed to? (Yeah I am a typical guy with a real bad memory problem when it comes to “important dates”, and no WE don’t pretend to forget the date we really genuinely forget to remember the bloody date. BTW this was out of context for our present discussion but what the hell I always wanted to say it out loud for the world to read and the women to may be understand .) She thankfully said no. I had to then tax my brains, trust me I don’t usually do that a lot. So, I called my sister asked her the same. She said yeah its mum and dad’s anniversary do cal and wish them. I then called my mum and then my pa wished them both. So now you are wondering where is this going. I was in PUNE, my sister is in the US of A, my dad was in CHENNAI and my mum in BOMBAY (I like the sound of Bombay to Mumbai and I don’t give a rat’s shit about people who want me to call it Mumbai). A small family of four people split across India and the world. I blame it all on the fucking Modernisation of INDIA. Down with the modernisation, down with the new age system, Inquilab Zindabad. No I don’t want to start a revolution. This ain’t no signature campaign (Although please leave some useful not overly critical comments).I am a very selfish individual. I want my family under one roof, in one city living happily ever after. This is me crying out loud.....
